Monday, September 21, 2015

Sleeping Through the Night

I will be reposting old blog posts as I get back into the swing of writing and blogging here. The following is a post I wrote when I first started blogging here more than 5 years ago. My son was just a baby then and now he is six and still waking me up at night! He still needs me!

Here it is:

Dashiell is almost ten months and not sleeping through the night.  Not even close.  Last night he was up three times.  Usually he's up 2-3 times and I nurse him to sleep and I'm back in bed in twenty minutes.

This is completely intentional and I was reminded yesterday as to why.

I picked him up from daycare and as soon as I walked through the door he fell on his butt and started crying.  I ran over to him and swooped him up and gave him kisses galore. 

Then he reached his arms out to his teacher.

I won't lie and say this didn't bother me.  It did.  If this wasn't my second child I probably would have driven home in tears.

I told myself that this was a good thing.  He is happy there.  He spends a lot of time there and this particular teacher is wonderful and kind and loving.  We spend a lot of money to give our children the best possible care.

I also told myself that she's not there at midnight to hold him when he cries, I am.

She's not there at 3AM to rub his belly when he has gas, I am.

She can't nurse him to sleep, I can.

I'm not ready to give that up.  I would miss stumbling down the hall and swooping him up out of his crib and comforting him.

I don't get to do that during the day, she does.  I get him all night and I'm not about to let that go. Especially when I saw him reach out to another woman.

I should say I have very strong feelings about "crying it out" and teaching your child to soothe himself.  I don't think it needs to happen in the first year.  When my babies cry, I go to them.  I did the same with Annabelle and I don't regret it at all. 

I would have regretted the torment of letting her cry when there was something I could have done to stop it.  I would have regretted missing out on those middle of the night feedings because it was what I thought I needed or should have done.

I have a couple of months until I will start weaning.  Just a couple more months of pumping in the bathroom at work.  After that I know he won't get up as much and eventually not at all.  I know I'll miss it.

One day he won't need me at all.

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